what do i like to do

i sometimes whats is it that i like to do because nothing entices me forever. i get bored of things so soon and i am too lazy. i lack will and that killer instinct. and i think tooo much. this is the only thing i do in loads. and this is how i am different. i think people dont think and even if they do their thinking is one dimensional ie they see things from their point of view. i take multiple views of every situation from different angles. because of this i have to deal with lots of conflicts and most of the time is spent in resolving those conflicts. and they never get resolved. different dimensions dont fit and no complete picture emerges unlike the case in cordinate gemotry where different views fit into each other and form a complete view.

i think one more thing. people who think too much, i mean think on irelevant issues dont do anything. they just think. i beleive such people should not be recruited in any kind of job. never the less such people can be good writers and write articles for newspaper. many a times we come across nonsense articles in newpaper especially on sunday. some of the articles do not at all make sense to me. the article is full of all sort of vocabulary and finally after reading it i cant make out what the writer actually wanted to say. i feel for such writers writing is like pent up emotions which has to come out no matter what.

so here i am in dilema. i seriuosly dont know what i am good at and what i am suppose to do. and i am too lazy to find out. and i think my whole life will therefore be spent in running on the roads meant for others and therefore i guess i wont suceed. but i am not complaining as i am too lazy to do that.

forcing urself to be happy

read a real life story in newspaper. it goes like this--- the guy to whom it all happened had to reach ahemdabad from delhi. he was going through mumbai. something like that. but his flight got cancelled and since he was desperate to reach his destination he took road route and met with an accident on highway that too at night. they were lying in pool of blood and a passing by vehicle saw them and thats how they were saved. now the writer says that he is very grateful to god and happy that he was saved. and it could have been other way round where he could have blamed the airlines for all that happened. so moral of the story according to him that its u how u perceived an event.

in his case he chose to be happy abt getting a chance to live but somebody other could have been like cursing the same event blaming it on somebodyelse.

well yes that great hes alive and kicking but perceiving yourself happy does not apply to every situation. there are times when we are left in quandry because of others. and then if it would have been so easy perceiving urself happy always then so much of development wouldnt have taken place. we would be happy and satisfied with the way things are.

faking up for interviews

i hate giving interviews. because i hate being fake. there use to be the times when i enjoyed faking myself and showing off. but not anymore. i hate to be anything but me. and interviews wont let me be that. especially the HR part. i hate presenting myself as a goody goody candidate. i dont know answers to the questions like my strenghts, weaknesses, where i will be 5 or 10 yrs down the line. probably this is my weakness. i dont know it all. and i hv to fake it up. i actually want to say that i dont know all this. all i know is i like keeping things simple and though i dont knw abt all this stuff but give me some space and some valuable trust of urs and i will perform...atleast i will give my best.
and i knw it wont work this way. so here i am asking everyone there strengths and weaknesses and cramming it like a parrot to vomit it out in some damned interview. i hope i wont be caught.

i guess all this is because i really dont know what i want. but is it the problem with me only. i dont think so. i guess all others are happy being faking and acting. i believe all of us pass lives assuming or let us say pretending that we are happy. i really dont know what it is. i hope i will get to know of it someday.

learning to post

this is to know how to post ur articles. one of my friends opened her blog but later couldnot find way to post her articles. we kept on trying for abt an hour trying to see how to do it with no luck. i am sure now she have discarded the whole blog idea. i am not planning to do so. this time i am very committed to this blog thing and i will ensure that i regularly write except the times when im busy and when am i busy? i think all the times. i feel i have perfected the art of being busy with no work at all to do. sometimes i wonder where did my whole day go. next time i am going to see the god i am going to complain of having 24 hrs per day. i need more.

at last

yes at last i opened my own blog. i have been thinking for so long to do it. i had started a blog before, i just registered it and then forgot all about it. sometimes i wonder why i am writing a blog, why i need to do this..and now i have found the reason. the first reason is i am too bad at expressing myself ...always at loss of words and one will find a lot of dots ie......these things in my mails, in chat text and other such things. these dots have been filling in the gaps for me for so long. another reason is sometimes i feel a deep urge to write...so i will write here whenever i feel like and write all the crap i feel like